theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
