Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
