You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
