my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
