i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
