Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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