I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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