Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
