i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
