she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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