No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
