apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just pee around me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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