Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
