hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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