Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
