I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
