yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
