The beer is more important than you right now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
