i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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