I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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