who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just google imaged poop.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
