Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
