When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
