I think i peed on brittanys purse
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
