like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize