do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
