I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
