I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
