I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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