She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
