No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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