I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So squirting runs in the family.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
