So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
