That's intense
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
