i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
