ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
