somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
