Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
