walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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