I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
