So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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