I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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