Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Randomize
