thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
