Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
