got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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