Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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