At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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