Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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