So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
