I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize