Non-Jews are for practice
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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