Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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