i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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