you would pick up someone in the library
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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