giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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