youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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