If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so explain again why im purple
no
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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