I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
