I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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