This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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