I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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