my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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