i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize