i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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