I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
