you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
