Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
