'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize