You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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