no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
