I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
