he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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